“Tough Love Intense Healing Music”
This was roughly the title of my search for music on the Insight Meditation Timer app this morning. Intensively rattled by the latest environmental disaster, the never-ending trail of chaos my child left leaving this morning, and the intense road rage I’ve witnessed this week, I knew that I needed to hit the mat. I was in no mood for the ethereal or mantras. No soft violins or new age voices. If there was a heavy metal meditation channel, I was all for it. My search matched the mood of my nervous system. “Fix me or else” would have been a perfect mediation soundtrack for me this morning.
Track after track didn’t feel right. I’d try meditating for a minute or so and quickly become annoyed with the sound. Where was the tough love, damn it? I finally settled on “Metal Healing Sounds” by Yuval Ron (one of my favorite sound healing composers). If I couldn’t get heavy metal, I’d have to settle for something with the word metal in it.
As the music began, I tried my usual approach of grounding from the earth through my feet and up through my body. Nothing. There was no energy there to connect with. All the while, intense pressure started coming down through my crown and seeping very slowly into my body. That was not what I had planned. So, what I did I do? Try to manage it. Speed it up. Direct it to where I wanted it to go. The universe just chuckled at me and continued to do its own work. “We’ve got this”, I heard. “Your control won’t work here”, it whispered.
And they did have it. The energy ever so slowly moved down through my body, like honey pouring into a jar. And on the way down, it soothed my nerves, quieted my parasympathetic nervous system and made me get out of my own way. 15 minutes into the music, I felt back at a baseline of normal human behavior. I was grounded in my body and to the earth.
Our fight, flight, or freeze is triggered daily. For those who have deeper trauma or attachment issues, being in the 3F state can be a way of life. We want the magic formula to make the world saner. To stop the bad behavior of others. To stop the quicksand under our feet. To have our children stop driving us insane first thing in the morning. These are all lofty goals. But the first answer has to lie within us. The first step is to stop, breathe, notice, and find a way to regulate your nervous system back into a safe place. It doesn’t make your problems magically go away, but it allows you the clarity and space to make an adult decision about what to do next. Think of how much ease we could gain if we could all engage each other from that place. Until then, someone let me know when they find metal rage meditation music. 😊
