Here is the thing.  There is no ground.  There never was. There were scaffolding and planks, boardwalks and catwalks, aisle and paths, roadways and byways.  All built by humankind to give us a sense of purpose and structure.  Leading us to specific destinations or endless circles.  Defined by the values, resources, and needs of the ruling class.  We each created our own connection to the scaffolding in order to find a sense of stability and groundedness.  And it gave us much needed comfort…until it didn’t. 

“These mirror moments of parenting are “brutiful”, as author Glennon Doyle would say. It is a gut punch to see yourself repeating parental patterns AND it is liberating to see both you and your parents as humans. We are ALL full of contradictions and fears. We are all just trying to figure out our way in life. We make a lot of mistakes, and our job is to learn and clean up after ourselves…not to pass on the pain.”

Every year it gets lighter. But not with just the passing of time—it is with the willingness to look at the shadows in order to get to the light. To choose the courage to go into the fire again and again in order to extinguish the flames. To let others help you on the journey. To know that you don’t have to fight the fire alone. You can find your people and have them bring their tools. And you know what? If you still have to hold your breath a little bit until July is over, that’s okay too.

“All these parts of me are as unique as the different shop clerks at the parts stores. They all have their jobs to do, and all are trying to keep me running smoothly and safely by giving me the pieces that make up the whole. My work is to notice them, name them, ask their purpose, thank them, and then use that information to do what is best for the whole of me.”

Surrender (Merriam-Webster)

: to give oneself up into the power of another : yield

Look up quotes about surrender and you will find that 98% of them are of the “never surrender…never give up” variety. While that axiom is important in reminding us to keep going during times of struggle, it also holds up back from true healing. Consider this:

When we are tired and feel like we need to keep going, we deny ourselves a chance to rest. We are praised for our strength.

When we are sad or grieving, we feel the need to compartmentalize and to keep moving rather than feel our feelings. We are praised for our fortitude.

When we struggle with pain and adversity, we feel the need to trust in a higher purpose and keep fighting the good fight. We are praised as warriors.

Maybe it’s ok to watch the ducks and the boats. Maybe it’s ok to rest. Maybe it’s ok to clear the noise for a few days so I can hear my own thoughts. Maybe it is ok to just sit and remember who I truly am. Whole. Loved. Blessed. Maybe it’s time to let the old ways die.